She Put a Song on Her Profile. Five Ways to Open on It.

Quick question: when did you last open on her song?

Hinge and Tinder both let her pin a track to her profile. She picked it on purpose, out of every song she knows, to say something about herself. And almost every guy scrolls straight past it to comment on the hiking photo. That's good news for you. The song is the least crowded opener on her whole profile.

First, the two replies that waste it:

nice taste in music

omg I love this song

The first is a compliment with nothing inside it. The second is agreement with nowhere to go. She can only answer both with "thanks" or "same!", and then the thread is dead. (If you already know that problem, stop agreeing with everything covers it in detail.)

Here are five moves that actually give her something to answer.

1. Guess the scene she plays it in

A song is a mood, and moods have settings. Guess hers.

this is a driving-alone-at-night-with-the-windows-down song. tell me I'm wrong

A guess is better than a question because it shows you thought about her, and it's fun to correct. Right or wrong, she replies. This is the same trick as guessing instead of asking, aimed at the one detail nobody else touched.

2. Pick the oddly specific moment in the track

Everyone knows the chorus. Point at something smaller: the bridge, the bit where the drums come in, one lyric.

be honest, you put this on here for the part at 2:40

This works best when you actually know the song. If you don't, skip to move 4. Faking it falls apart on her second message.

3. Read her choice, not just the song

What she picked says something. A sad song on a dating profile is a little funny. A 2009 pop hit is a little brave. Say what you notice, lightly.

putting a breakup song on a dating app is a bold strategy. respect

nobody picks a 2009 song by accident. what year of your life is this

You're teasing the decision, never the taste. "This song is terrible" makes her defend herself. "Bold choice" makes her explain herself, and explaining is a conversation.

4. Admit you don't know it, then ask for the right thing

Not knowing the song is fine. Pretending is not. Turn it into a small favour she gets to grant.

never heard this, listening now. if it's bad I'm blaming you personally

new to me. is this a headphones-on-the-train song or a kitchen-at-midnight song

Then actually listen, and reply with one honest reaction. That second message is where most guys go vague. Message two needs a real detail, and now you have one.

5. Trade her one back

Answer her song with yours, but make it a small challenge, not a playlist.

fair. if this is your anthem, mine is something deeply embarrassing and I'll tell you only if you guess the decade

You give her a bit of yourself and a game at the same time. Keep it to one song. Three links in a row is homework.

What all five have in common

None of them rate the song. They all point at her: when she plays it, why she chose it, what it says. That's the whole trick. The song is just the door.

If you look at her profile and nothing comes to mind, hintder can help: drop a screenshot of her profile, song included, and it drafts a few openers in the tone you pick. You choose one and send it yourself. The first three are free.

One rule before you hit send: if you'd only know what to write by googling the band, write move 4 instead. Curious beats clever every time.